真的好劲爆。XD

原英文台词：

Without you, I'm as lonely as an abandoned dog on the side of a highway. I have gift anxiety; even through I don't know when your birthday is. We can spend perfect days shopping and cleaning together. I swear, I'll never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking. If you consent to live with me, I'll clean the toilet every week. I'll do it with my tongue if you ask. I will strike the words "hooters" and "love rockets" from my vocabulary. I'll love you. Even if your name is Mimi and you want me to pronounce it "May May". I will only pass gas underneath the covers and under the direst of circumstances. Hell, I'll go on a low cholesterol diet. And I won't buy one of those red sports cars when I hit my mid-life crisis. Your parents can come visit us every week, even if your mom is a witch with a capital B. And your folks don't have to go to a retirement home because they can come live with us. I declare, I'll separate the whites from the colors and learn the mysteries of hot and cold water washes. I'll never huff and puff while waiting for you to put on my makeup. If you're a cat person, I'll never point out the fact that a dog can save your life from drowning, but a cat can't. I will happily go see chick flicks with you, like "Pride and Prejudice". I'll make a point to trying new food like okra gumbo. I won't curl my nose at vegetables whose awful taste is disguised by having cheese on it. I pledge to always say "yes" when you ask, "Is my hair looking okay tonight?" I'm gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word "cuddle". I'll be thoughtful enough to read your horoscope every day. I'm gonna save every birthday card you send me! And I'll actually write you real letters when we're apart. I'm never gonna expect you to know where I left my car keys, and I'll never leave my socks on the floor. With me, you'll find the cap is always on the toothpaste. I'll start wearing those bikini style underwear if you like. My belly button will always be lint free. I want to full-on kiss your *******. It will be the most passionate, intimate experience you've ever had. I declare now, I will give my life for you. And if you fail to come to me, I know some part of me will surely die.

翻译后中文：

没有你，我就像只被抛弃在高速公路的旁边的流浪狗。我买了无数生日礼物，尽管我不知道你的生日是什么时候。我们可以愉快地享受一起买东西和煮东西的日子。我发誓，当你在停车时刮破了轮胎，我不会油嘴滑舌地取笑你。如果你同意与我一起生活，我会每周都负责清洗厕所，如果你要的话，我会用舌头来洗。我会把“脏话”跟“腻语”在我的词汇中剔除出去。我会爱你，就算你的名字是“咪咪”而你要我把名字叫成“美美”。我只会在没人或者最糟糕的环境中放屁。我会坚持低胆固醇的节食。当我中年危机的时候，我不会浪费钱去买一辆红色运动跑车。你的父母可以每周来看你，就算你的妈妈是个大巫婆。你的家人可以不用去敬老院，因为她们可以跟我们住在一起。我发誓，我会从众多色彩中把白色分开来，我会发现用冷水洗衣服和用热水洗的奥秘。在你化妆的时候，我不会催促和发怒而静心地等。如果你是个“猫女”（软弱的人），我永远不会说狗是人类最好的朋友而猫不是。我会很高兴地陪你看女生爱看的无聊电影，就像《傲慢与偏见》那样。我不介意试验一些新食物，就比如黄葵小鸡汤。就算吃下那些拌着起司的难吃的菜叶，我也不会皱起眉头。当你问“我今晚的发型好看吗？”的时候，我永远都会说“是的” 。我要对“拥抱”定下新的定义。我会每天用心阅读你的星座运程。我会保存好你送给我的每张生日卡。当我们分开时我会给你写信。我永远不会让你帮我找车钥匙。我永远不会把脏袜子拉在地板上。跟我在一起，你会发现牙膏永远都盖着。如果你喜欢，我会穿男用比基尼内裤，把肚脐露出来。我会美美的吻你的**，这会是你从没有试过的最激情的最亲密的体验。我现在宣布，为了你我会牺牲一切。如果你不能跟我在一起，我知道我的生命将不再完整。